When I was pregnant with my second child I left two obstetricians before finding one who respected and listened to me in my sixth month. The first insisted he would shave my pubic area and wouldn't let my sister in the room during birth. (This was 35 years ago.)

The second insisted he would test my fetus for Down Syndrome even though I knew and told him the syndrome in my husband's family was not genetic. He also, during an exam, left the paper blanket off my lap so I was sitting naked from the waist down as he pontificated. That made me so uncomfortable that I wrote him a letter about it calling him an ass while explaining why I was leaving.

But I was so brainwashed by the patriarchy that I made sure to put something like "for your eyes only" on the envelope. I didn't want the nurse or anyone else to read his letter and realize he was sexualizing his patient interactions. I was a dope. I should have sued the MF! But at least I got away from him and found a good doctor (who happened to be a man of color) who let me lead the process. My sister and neice were in the room along with my husband. Everything went smoothly. I'm so glad I listened to my intuition and didn't buckle to male authority. Now I see only women doctors.