We had a son like that. Another big problem was my husband and I arguing over the best way to respond to his misbehavior. It's surprising our marriage survived. When he was almost 19 he was diagnosed with a major mental illness. I felt relief. Finally, I knew he wasn't "bad" because of me--because of something I'd done wrong in raising him. But society always blames the mother, anyway. His little brother suffered, too, from being bullied. But now, the troubled son is 34, on meds, and doing much better. We all are. Growing older helped him, I think, in addition to the meds and some social programs he miraculously received ($ for housing). Thank you for sharing your honest story. It means a lot to many, including me.