This is a super good story that raises many deep questions. Two things came to mind as I was reading it. One is my high school boyfriend's grandma. She lived in the midwest of the US when a man in California started writing her sister, asking her to be his bride. (I'm not sure how that happened! Probably some inter-family introduction.) The sister eventually refused him and my BF's grandma answered the call instead. They had never met when she traveled the long distance by train to marry him, a union which lasted for life. Those were different times, and no one was being exploited. Both wanted a spouse to help them put together a life. But it was such an interesting story!

The other thing that came to mind was this story by Mona Lazar, another FW contributor. She raises many surprising points, basically saying what you do in the last paragraph. If American women don't want these boorish men, and the men are able to raise a third-world woman's whole family out of poverty, perhaps it is an okay solution for the moment, at least until patriarchal men evolve and are able to accept wives on equal terms? Her story is here: https://medium.com/hello-love/american-men-are-no-longer-interested-in-american-women-the-dating-wars-are-on-690a491976ad

I also thought of the colonial mindset, where white men from Europe invaded other countries and stole their riches. Isn't that the same thing that's happening here?

Your story was so interesting and posed many deep questions along with the many answers you provided. Great read!