This is a really interesting topic and essay. Personally, I prefer to earn more than my husband because as a child I witnessed how my father withheld money to control and assert power over my mother. I want my own power, and was pleased when I met a man who was willing to hand his money over to me and let me manage it. It helps to balance the power in the relationship which, in heterosexual unions, generally favors the man. I guess I should mention that I'm white and that no doubt influences my perspective. But I also am not much interested in being "feminine" as defined by my culture as weak and small. I would rather try to manifest the feminine energy I've discovered in various mythologies which is enormous and life-giving. I see myself as big and powerful and I like it that way. :) But maybe I miss the point since this essay is specifically about black women? Please excuse me if I shouldn't have commented. I find the topic of gender endlessly interesting and wanted to weigh in.