Thank you so much, Neil. It sounds like you are in a deeply loving relationship. I hope the sex thing works out! It’s so complicated, and there’s so much we don’t understand about our own sexual responses, or lack of them, let alone our partner’s. In general I tend to think women are messed up by society sexualizing them at an early age. In my case, it felt like I was demoted from a person to a sex object when I hit puberty. So my relationship with sex was fraught. (I wonder if your wife had similar negative experiences?) But at this point my husband and I have been married 37 years, and I was so tired of fighting about it, it was easier to fully capitulate! Hahahah! I know some would say I was wrong to do so, but it doesn’t feel that way. This may be crazy, but I wonder if your wife would consider opening up the marriage? I’ve been reading Elle Beau on Medium who has an open marriage (they have threesomes) and that works for her. But maybe that’s too far out? Anyway, I’m glad you are going to sex/couples therapy and I hope that something shifts. Thanks for reading and commenting. As to how much/little attention this story has received, the Medium algorithms are beyond me. I’m surprised you found the story at all, since it was written some time ago. But I’m glad you did! ❤

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Tree hugger. Tour guide. Top Writer. Feminist. Newly-baptized Bay swimmer. Editor of Fourth Wave.

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