My parents died when I was 20 and 25, respectively. When I married, I wanted very much for my mother-in-law to become my new mom. We both tried, but that never happened. She just wasn't. I held it against her for many years--that she didn't love me enough. But finally I realized she loved me as much as she was capable of, and let it go. Letting go is the lesson I'm most grateful for in old(er) age. Most of the things we want don't turn out as we imagined, even when we get them, they don't plug the holes or fill the voids. Better to just look around and be grateful. The Dude abides. :)

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