I’m reading “The Will To Change; Men, Masculinity, And Love” by bell hooks and it’s blowing my mind. It’s so good! It explains better than I ever could how patriarchy harms men as well as women. Your column points out that women have it “better” in a patriarchal system since they can pursue more emotionally satisfying lives, but teaching men to shut down emotionally in order to be “real men” perpetuates violence and denies love and true connection to all of us: men, women, and children. You ask us to send books. I send this recommendation. I hope you’ll read it!