I hear you. But it's also a skill this particular man has. His "love language" is service. When I was sick with cancer 20 years ago, he very much came through for me. He's a good caregiver, which is not the traditional gender role for men. He likes waiting on me--bringing me coffee, cooking me food, etc. That's how he feels comfortable showing his love (less embarrassing than looking me in the eye!), and part of my learning has been that his way is different than my way, but it's still love.