Gender war is a term from back in the day, when tennis player Billie King challenged any man to beat her on the court. I’m probably like your mom in many ways, including being old! :) You are wrong that human decency is cowardly. Decent humans do things like hide Jews from the Nazis during WWII, shut down bigoted language, and step in to interrupt injustice. It’s possible to be kind and respectful to others while also standing up against bullies and hate.