First, I loved your story. I love all your stories. They are beautiful and true. And I love all the wonderful qualities your mother had--her class and sensibility, her writing talent and courage to be herself in her conformist neighborhood. I'm not sure, though, that I believe she drank to ease her pain. What do I know? Nothing! But I have alcoholism and mental illness in my family, and I believe it's a disease, not a choice. Also, if you see it that way, forgiveness will come. She wasn't going down the tubes and abandoning her children on purpose, she was being sucked down by a powerful force she had no control over, like her mother before her. You are lucky that legacy wasn't passed on to you. <3